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I've joined up with a virtual team on Sparkpeople... it's a way to stay accountable on a daily basis for both nutrition and exercise.. and one of the challenges this weekend is to "eat the rainbow"... a serving of each color of freggie.. now THIS is my kind of weekend challenge! So, I went to the Farmers Market this morning... (I'd been up since 5am!!)... when I arrived I smiled because the HULA HOOPERS were there! They were raising awareness for the Oklahoma Nutrition Information and Education.. 
And I joined in.. I am NOT a good hooper.. but I can pull a 10-15 second waist hoop. LOL.. I have big dreams.. but it was fun and spontaneous.. and I got in about 10 minutes of unexpected unplanned activity! WOOT. I did my shopping and chatted with the vendors.. such a nice group of people.. and I came away with this bounty 
Scrumptious! Red Tomatoes.. fresh-organic-just-picked-this-morning lettuce and spinach.. radishes... asparagus... red bell pepper.. orange bell pepper.. summer squash.. zucchini.. green/purple onions.. mmm I was salivating! So, I got home and made myself a humongous salad for BREAKFAST!!!... lettuce, spinach, tomato, orange bell pepper, radish, purple onion, blueberries, boiled egg and some chicken breast.. topped with homemade blueberry vinaigrette. SCRUMPTIOUS 
What about you? You gonna eat the rainbow this weekend?? or look for those opportunities to get in some unplanned, spontaneous fitness! Life is good.. no, GREAT! 90 days til Africa 22lbs to my ZipLine Goal
I love mornings like this... I get up.. do my bidness.. walk over to the scale and weigh-in... (you can find why I weigh daily here... then I showered, got dressed and checked my email to find this! 
WOOT WOOT.. I just love it! I crank up the music and do a little dancing to celebrate.. and lest you think I can dance.. I cannot.. but I love moving to the music (and my dogs don't seem to mind). HA. I am just loving this.. I'm feeling so much better about myself.. gettin' my swagger back.. but I am not bulletproof.. and I was reminded of that fact yesterday.. It started with me seeing a picture of myself.. ugh.. and it reminded me that although I have lost 45lbs.. and only have 29lbs to lose in the next 93 days to meet my zipline goal... I have another 60 or 70lbs to go after I get back.. when I started this journey I needed to lose about 130-150lbs (depending on my final goal weight which I just can't say right now but will probably be around 190lbs, I'm 5'11") The journey just seems soooooo long.. I can't see the end... nor, honestly, imagine it.. I let the negativity creep in... seep into the marrow of my bones.. and I noticed my energy level drop.. and I started thinking of all I cannot do.. all the time I've lost in my life to being overweight.. all the limitations (both real and perceived) and I am profoundly sad... I knew I had a workout scheduled and just getting in the car was so hard.. I didn't want to workout.. and I replayed how ungracefully I do all the moves.. how I struggle.. how I stand out because of my size.. because of how slooooow I do everything.. oh yeah, the negativity just swirls.. This is what happened yesterday.. lt felt like every fiber in my being did NOT want to workout.. I knew.. deep in my core.. that if I skipped that workout because of how I felt that it would spiral into eating a bag of oreos with a side of pringles... I Will Not Go There I.Will.Not. I can't. And so I went to my workout telling myself that showing up is good enough.. and I'll just give it 50% effort.. uh huh.. yeah.. not with my Coach.. but you know what? Once I was there.. and I got started.. I lost myself in the moment.. in the effort.. my heart raced.. I gasped for breath.. but with each swing of the kettlebell.. or each minute spent rowing.. every squat.. my confidence grew.. and grew.. and by the end of the workout my mojo was back! Diets are good. Eating plans are necessary and I'm quite aware that you can't out train a bad diet.. but they can't give you the high that a good workout can.. diets don't give me a sense of pride in my accomplishment.. but working out (whatever your choice of workout) sure can. My workout of choice is CrossFit... it constantly makes me uncomfortable.. which, I'm not lyin', is difficult.. dern difficult.. I'm reading a book right now called "inside the Box: How CrossFit Shredded the Rules, Stripped Down the Gym and Rebuilt my Body" .. this quote from the book kinda sums it up for me..
"It's about personal accountability and driving for goals that are meaningless to everyone but you. It’s not about awards or external recognition. It’s about personal satisfaction.[CrossFitters have] developed an enhanced capacity to suck it up and deal with high levels of discomfort on a consistent basis.. "
For me, it's the epitome of "me against me"... MY best.. based 100% on MY effort.. and watching the improvements come.. -like my increased stamina -increased strength -ability to work harder and longer -improved technique -learning new things like squats, back squats, front squats, kettlebell, around the worlds, figure eights, rowing, the prowler, the sled, ring rows, the airdyne, thrusters, dead lifts, on and on .. It is the big, huge positive in my life right now... and when I leave the box, I feel like I am unstoppable.. I am learning mental toughness... and hard times will come.. and just like in my workout, I'm going to need to push through a bit of discomfort to experience that euphoria. I can do that... I prove it multiple times a workout when I want to quit but don't.. I know that the only limits on me are the ones I've placed there.. So, I sign off today with a picture that my niece took of me this evening with my grand-niece.. do I looooove the picture? No, but it's where I am right now.. and I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will meet my goals.. and I'll be showin' my swagger.. and rockin' my mojo the entire time.. mmm hmmmmm 281lbs.. 
And here's my workout info from tonight.. 
93 Days til Africa 29lbs to go to meet the Zipline Goal
I have a friend IRL (in real life) that has lost about 70lbs and she is amazing! She's beautiful and so petite! I struggled and struggled to find my weight loss mojo while she was losing but never did.. but it was so encouraging to me to see that she was doing it.. ya know?.. We even went to Las Vegas and she stuck to her eating plan 100%.. AND while I was at the tables gambling she ran upstairs to work out! Seriously?? In Vegas?? She had such FOCUS.. really.. quite amazing.. And now, when I've found what works for me... found my groove.. she's my biggest cheerleader.. always encouraging me.. and best of all we're "workout buddies" even though we've never worked out together.. and the type of workout we enjoy is completely different.. but I have such respect for her huge efforts on endurance and going from walking to RUNNING for 40 minutes with a sustained heart rate in the 180s.. seriously?? she's a freaking machine! And she cheers me on in my "anvil throwing and boulder lifting" LOL... I've tried to explain to her how much it means to have someone in my corner who 1) knows what the journey is like and 2) has been completely 110% successful.. she inspires me at every turn.. and her support makes me more powerful and, I believe, increases my ability to succeed.. So, I've tried and tried to explain CrossFit to folks at work and it's very difficult to convey what the workouts are like.. so.. I've started inviting folks to come and experience a workout with me.. tonight, my friend Sarah came.. and my coach gave us a very fun partner workout... we both did a 500m rowing warmup.. and then AS A TEAM we had to do 100 kettlebell swings, 10 banded runs x50ft and 75 sit-ups for time... the catch is we could only workout one at a time and while one was working doing the kettlebell swings, the other partner was doing lunges... while we were doing situps, the partner was doing ball slams.. there was no rest! Having a partner working out with me really did push me more... and I achieved a new PR with my heart rate - 161!!... and I got to see this little guy jumping on my phone when I completed the workout... 
So, find a buddy.. someone that can cheer you on with sincerity.. someone who can remind you of your successes when you've forgotten... someone to tell you "you'll be better next time" or "you got this"... or maybe "suck it up buttercup" LOL... cuz those cheerleaders in our lives are so important.. they make us accountable.. You know how you find YOUR cheerleader?? You become the cheerleader of others... so, don't be just a taker... give it up for those around you that are working hard to achieve a goal! You may never know what a difference those few words can make in someones life... and you just can't feel bad when you're cheering on someone else, it's impossible! 94 days to go til Africa 29lbs til my ZipLine goal!
I've read a lot of discussions about when to weigh... weekly.. monthly.. not at all.. all of it surrounded by "the power of the scale"... And all of those are good ways to avoid letting the scale rule your life... But I would like to add one more and that is to weigh EVERY day.
I used to get so mad (or happy or sad) when I would be expecting to lose weight because I had eaten well and exercises only to gain weight! ARGH.. or I have been very HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY when I did NOT eat well or exercise and expected to gain weight and actually LOST! It definitely goes both ways... I considered shunning the scale.. but it just didn't set well with me.. it felt like I was giving the scale too much power over me mentally.. like I wasn't strong enough to read a freaking number and not let it ruin my day.
So, I set out to CONQUER the scale and its power over me.. I was pretty tired of the ups and downs but, for me, I realized that I just didn't understand why! (This lack of understanding just added to the mystery and power of the blooming scale numbers!) I love data.. all data.. and I decided to approach the scale as just another data point in all my data points (measurements, clothes size, fitness points, calories, carbs, fat, protein, etc.).. it really is just a number and I'd heard that a million times but in order for me to REALLY mean it.. I had to desensitize myself to the scale.. which meant weighing in everyday... every morning I get out of bed.. go do my bidness in the bathroom.. and weigh. At first, it was a little anxiety inducing but by about the 7th day, I was like "mmmm interesting".
I logged everything I ate .. down to the morsel.. and I logged all my activity including weight training and steps.. I did a lot of referring back and forth at first, trying to figure out the secrets.. by about day 15 or so... it was just data.. period.. and I became enamoured a bit with the "over/under" game.. how many days did I stay the same vs how many days did I lose?... My longest run for losing was 10 days.. 10 days in a row I lost weight.. but I wasn't screaming to anyone I LOST WEIGHT 10 DAYS IN A ROW.. because, well.. it was just one data point and I wasn't seeing other data points like clothing size moving.. and I knew I would have runs of weight gain.. but in the end .. the goal was to have more dots below 0 than above 0
Below is my graph of my 63 days of weight tracking... the red line is ZERO which means I had no change in my weight for that day.. the dots above the red line indicate I gained weight from the previous day and the dots below indicate I lost weight from the previous day..
I had 25 days where I stayed the same or gained.. and 38 where I lost. There were some quite dramatic gains.. and losses.. but it just didn't hold the emotional punch that it used to .. because I had successfully turned it into data.. what is most important is 1) the trend 2) how my clothes are fitting (interestingly when I have runs above the line my clothes seem to get looser, go figure) 3) how are my workouts going and 4) how's my mental game!
You see, I believe the number really doesn't tell you much.. nor does a clothing size.. this picture has been all over Pinterest and I just had to share here because I find it so interesting. All of these women weigh 150lbs.. and their sizes range from a 2 to 18.. If this doesn't convince you that it's the composition of your body and not the number on the scale I do not know what will.
I am doing a ton of weight training.. which I adore.. so I'm adding muscle and subtracting fat.. no wonder the data points are all caddywompus... hehe.. but I don't fear the dang thing.. I just hop on.. plot it on the graph.. and move on to the important things like what I'm putting in my mouth, moving my body in new and different ways and keeping my mental game sharp!
So, if you're a weekly weigher or a monthly weight or even a never weigher.. It's all good! I just wanted to share what allowed me to conquer the scale and turn it into just another tool that will see me through to reach my goal.. that's it.
96 days til Africa
30lbs to go to meet my ZipLine goal
I wrote a blog on 4/7/13 just a little over a month ago about history not having to repeat itself if you plan...... it was about finally completing a bike ride that I had attempted before but never even got out of the car!
Well, I'm trying to do one organized bike ride a month... and I had my plan in place.. I was going to do the same thing I did in April, ask my niece to go with me.. I decided to do the Tour de Dale (primarily because it was a fundraiser for the highschool band).. and it is a small ride (about 100 riders).. .and it's rural (which I enjoy)... all of this sounded good.
My niece who went with me on the Redbud (my successful ride in April) was supposed to come with me... I'd paid her registration.. talked to her several times.. she seemed excited.. said she'd be over the night before the race to spend the night like she did last time.. talked to her at 5pm that evening.. all is a go.. but she never showed... no call.. no text.. nada... so frustrating, but I love that girl anyway..
So, when I got up Saturday morning I was irritated.. irritated not because she decided to bail (it happens) but because she didn't communicate that to me! ARGH.. so I was not in the best place mentally.. but I put the bike carrier on the car, loaded up the bike.. had a good breakfast.. drank a ton of water.. and was off to Dale Oklahoma (about a 50 minute drive from where I live).
I arrived very early and there was only 1 other rider there. I had preregistered and picked up both mine and my nieces t-shirts.. and drank some more water while I sat in the car... there ended up being about 100 riders and by 8am there was a lot of activity.. and the more lycra I saw the more I was filled with trepidation.. there's wasn't a lot of noise or talking.. that combined with the lycra made it feel very serious.. very..
and I began to let my insecurities grow... "I don't belong here".. "I'm the fattest one here"... "There's no way I can keep up"... "what if I get lost"...
and then I began to bargain.. "I can always just go to the lake and ride my miles there.. it's not like it matters where I ride"... or "I'll just hurry back to my Box (gym) and workout there because that's what's important, just to get my burn on"... or "no one has to know I didn't do it".. you get the picture..
I decided to just post a status Facebook and Sparkpeople.. just to get it "out there"... and weirdly enough it really helped "unstick" me...
And so I set the timer on my phone for 1 minute and breathed slowly and deeply for that minute.. and planned... planned how I would simply GET OUT OF THE FREAKING CAR.. and here was my plan.. I will just get out and do 3 very simple things 1) unload my bike 2) go to the bathroom and 3) ask one of the organizers about how the route is marked (since this seemed to be giving me some real heartburn... and I did..
I unloaded my bike and the man next to my car was unloading his.. and he started up a conversation.. he ended up being a Policeman from a nearby community and was there because his daughter was in the band.. he was so nice.. and although he was very fit (clearly, he's a cop).. he admitted that he was a bit nervous because he'd never riden in an organized ride and had to borrow his bike from a friend.. my anxiety decreased by 1/2!!
Step 2... I went to the bathroom... and overheard a couple of women talking about how nervous they were.. "but what if i can't finish".. and these women were FIT and in lycra but they too had done the Redbud the month before but one of them hadn't been able to finish that race ... my anxiety decreased by 2/3!!
Step 3.. I spoke to one of the staff about how the course was marked.. he was sooooo nice.. and really made me feel comfortable.. so I was SET! and I updated my status "I am OUT of the Car!!" LOL
I started looking at everything a bit differently.. loved this guys shirt
Here's the starting of the 50 milers
I enjoyed the rural setting.. and thought these little miniature donkeys were soooo cute!
I knew from researching the course that the first 6 miles were pretty hilly with a HUGE hill at mile 6.. after that it was all good.. and that held true.. little rolling hills... (except not so little when you're pushing 285lbs up it! HA)
Most of the roads were two lanes.. but for a few miles we were on a 4 lane highway (which I actually liked better because there was more room for people to pass.. we have LOTS of big trucks here in Oklahoma).. but THIS was the monster hill... yes, the downhill portion was fun and I got up to 24mph.. but the uphill?? KILLED...
Gratefully, just past the hill was the refreshment station... and the SAG wagon.. but I wasn't tempted.. I drank a couple of bottles of water and visited with the band members.. and was on my way..
Here's where the problem began... I was totally looking forward to the back six because most of the big hills were over.. however, right about the time we go back to two lanes with no shoulder AND curves (which means cars won't give you much room because they don't know what's around the curve)...
My left foot starts to cramp.. the cramp moves my to my calf and I literally ran off the road and threw the bike down and started hobbling around like a fool.. OUCH.. I walked for a few minutes.. got back on the bike.. almost immediately my foot started cramping.. when it started moving up to my calf I bailed again.. had to do this 3 times.. ugh.. there was no room to walk on the road without getting hit by a car.. so i walked up and down some railroad tracks trying to work it out..
But I finished.. 12.5 miles.. took me 1 hour and 13 minutes... and I averaged 10.3mph... this is me after the race.. can you see the pain in my face?
So I had some of this..
I had to pull the CAR over twice on the way home to walk out cramps... then stopped at the healthfood store and got some electrolyte replacements.. and another 64oz of water.. LOL
But I did it and I have the T-shirt to prove it!
I felt the fear... and I pushed through it.. and I did it.. this just builds up my confidence for the next time... I really can do this.. on my own.. well, with a little help from my friends.
96 Days til Africa
30lbs to go to Zip Line Goal
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